Two Secrets With One Stone
by ChristineBH
Summary: Sirius is forced to tell the rest of the Marauders a controversial secret and in the process of making sure there are no ill feelings Sirius finds realises a something shocking about a fellow Marauder. Not written as slash but can be read as such if one wants to do so.
1. First Secret

It was a Thursday in the mid-spring of fourth year when Sirius reluctantly confirmed to the rest of the Marauders that he was one of the scum who preferred the company of other men, as his mother so kindly had called a man he knew when he was at the tender age of five.

Sirius had been scared for a long time about telling the others, but they took it much better than he had dared to hope. James tried to be understanding. He had held a gaping distance between himself and Sirius, but he looked more shocked than disgusted and Sirius had a hope that James and he would go back to how they were the day before. Peter kept looking nervous and switched looking curiously at Sirius and at James to see how he was reacting. Both of them were some of the reactions that Sirius could have expected.

The only puzzling reaction was Remus'. Granted Sirius had no idea what reaction he _could_ expect from him. Remus was a nice person but not strong enough to stand up for others such as Snivellus when James or Sirius was after him. Most of the few times Sirius had looked at Remus at such times, he looked to be in a greater emotional pain than Snivellus was in psychically or mentally, but Remus had still never said anything against them. On the other hand, it would be hypocritical of him to judge anyone on sexuality with him turning into a savaging wolf every full moon and all. But Sirius still had expected more than Remus looking blankly at him like he had just told them the sun would shine next week and ask "Oh so you are gonna be exclusively in relationships with boys now?" and after a hesitant "I guess" seemed completely over it. At least a "Good for you." or a "Why?" would be preferred. Hell, even disgust would be easier to understand.

But Sirius didn't complain and except for a few awkward questions from James they all acted or tried to act like they had before until they all bid each other goodnight a whole hour before they usually did.

Sirius woke up the next day and for a moment everything seemed like before. Remus was shaking him with his foot while he buttoned up his shirt and told Sirius to wake up James. Still half asleep himself, Sirius walked over to James bed and pushed him more or less randomly and far too hard to be considered kind. Not long after they both sounded like something out of a porno with lots of "JAAAAMMMESSS" and grunting but it didn't bother anyone. Peter forced himself to go out to the toilet after Remus woke him up but they paid him no mind. Sirius took a hold of James shoulder and started to shake him before James took the hand from his shoulder and pulled Sirius down in bed with him. Sirius woke up at that and barely saved himself from hitting his head on the wall, but what shocked him now that he was awake was how James wrapped himself around Sirius like an octopus while hissing out "Shhh. Sleep now."

Sirius lay for several minutes listening to Remus finding and putting on his shoes and Peter drowsily put on his clothes. James breathing had slowed down and he was asleep once more before Remus looked over at them and sighed annoyed "Why are you two still laying in bed? Breakfast is starting in 5 minutes." Sirius awkwardly freed himself from James' arms. He had tried to do it softly and hopefully not wake James but sadly he did. James blinked a few times before they opened up wide when he saw who was in his arms. James did a sudden jerk and Sirius landed painfully on the ground. "So sorry, Sirius. I didn't mean to…. Especially since yesterday…. Not that there is anything wrong with it! There really isn't…" Sirius was slightly hurt and looked for words that could answer and stop James' outburst, but before he could do any of that they were both interrupted, "Sirius, James. Breakfast is starting soon and neither of you are close to dressed." Nobody could argue Remus on that. Remus, grumpy or not, typically had a point so both boys shared an unsure look and split up to get dressed.

To no surprise they ended up late to breakfast and for the rest of the day Sirius' stomach hurt either from stuffing himself as quickly as possible or nerves from being around his friends. Sirius didn't know who was the worst one, James acted worse than the night before and refused to get close to Sirius which made Peter do the same and was even more on edge than Sirius had seen him since second year and Remus was as unfazed as before. Everybody could see something was up, even the teachers sent them worried looks

None of them had talked or pranked in History of Magic. Which everybody around them thought they wished for but it put everybody on edge and for once could sleep though the lecture despite Binns being just as boring as always. In Charms they practised the Banishing Charm and although they succeeded before the end of class, Sirius and James took an abnormally long time to do so. Flitwick wasn't too pleased but he couldn't do anything about it, especially since for once James and Sirius actually tried to do whatever charm they were working on instead of it more or less just coming natural. Everyone had kept an eye on the boys at lunch. They all ate as if they would be shot at the first wrong move. No one talked and Remus sent them all annoyed and confused looks. Lastly was Potions, Sirius could barely manage the thought of going to Potions on a normal day especially on Fridays because of double Potions but he forced himself to go. Sirius regretted going to Potions halfway through the first lesson. It had went even worse than normally, Sirius could barely concentrate on the potion and added one of the ingredients before the potion was the right colour. The others didn't do much better and Slughorn was disappointed in all the Marauders' potions since neither was as golden as they should have been but luckily he was quickly distracted and shouted, "Miss Evans, Mr. Snape another great potion!" before leaving.

Eventually Potions ended and Sirius and the others went to their room. Sirius was prepared to suffer in silence but it was broken by Remus as soon as Peter closed the door. "What the hell is going on?" Sirius and James shared a look. Remus opened his mouth to say more but closed it again with a shake with his head. The situation was less severe and his and Remus' roles were reversed, but it reminded Sirius a lot about the werewolf revelation in their second year and he hoped that the fact that they recovered and in some ways got closer after that revelation meant that they could recover from this one. Remus gave all the boys one last look and walked out the door into the common room. Peter mumbled something about the kitchen or the library. It was sometimes very difficult to understand him when he mumbled and Sirius didn't have the energy or patience to get the answer out at him at the moment. Sirius and James looked at the door after it closed and was alone together for the first time in a while. Sirius considered going away too. He was tired but it was far too early to sleep and his friends didn't help the matter.

"Can I ask you something, Sirius?"

"Sure." Sirius looked at James and saw he was looking at him too.

"You errrh. I mean how did you…" James looked nervously at his hands before he peeked up with a voice so light it sounded like his voice had broken even though all the Marauders where over that stage "How did you sleep?"

"Fine…" Sirius not for the first time wondered if something was wrong with James, "you?"

"Good. Good."

The silence drowned them once more and Sirius wished once more he could disappear or at least that Remus or Peter would appear once more.

"Sirius" James look more doubtful "Okay this is going to sound wrong, but are you in love with me?"

Sirius looked at James with big eyes but said nothing.

"I thought about it last night and thought maybe you are because you must have found out you like boys some way, right? And then I wake up with you in my bed." To his credit, James did look sadden instead of revolted about the whole thing.

"That's the problem? You have almost pissed your pants if I got close to an arm length near you. Are you really so disgusted that you are afraid to touch me? Even as much as you touch Remus or Peter because maybe I would fall in love with you?" Sirius looked sickened and disapproving at James. If he could think logically at that moment he would know that James probably didn't mean it like that, but it had been a long day and Sirius was already tired and more hurt than he would ever admit.

"No it's not like that!" James had shouted and looked frantic. He lost all his words and tried to send his message to Sirius through his eyes, but Sirius was too distressed for any of that.

"Oh it's not? Because you don't have to worry about girls falling in love with you, but you have to be careful your gay friend doesn't because the gays go for anything with a dick!" Sirius sent back with even more volume. He was now officially pissed and he cursed James from where they stood and to the moon for making his first time openly call himself gay sound like it was a curse.

"It's not like that! Really! But I can't love you like that and never will!" James lowered his voice almost to a whisper, "I just don't want you to get hurt."

"Oh how selfless of you!" Sirius had heard James' last comment but was having none of it and although James hadn't made him more angry, he hadn't made him less angry either. "But James, I didn't know you were so damn narcissistic that you think everyone wants to bone you! How dense can you possibly be?"

"I don't think like that. Really." Sirius had expected James to laugh at the irony of Sirius calling anyone out on being a narcissist or just plain calling Sirius hypocritical, but Sirius refused to lose face. Even if James sounded more sincere than anyone probably have heard him.

"Oh then tell me, James, what makes you think that I love you?" Sirius had finally stopped shouting but the taunting voice was worse than the shouting.

"Because we are always touching but I don't like you like that. I don't want to lead you on." James actually looked close to tears and Sirius finally realised he meant every word he said, "And as I said; you must have found out that you liked boys by, you know, liking one."

Sirius looked at James with grey, searching eyes. "Yes, I did found out that way, but I never liked you. You're my brother, James. Just as much as Regulus."

Adrenalin left James and his shoulders sagged as he realised he finally came through Sirius and Sirius finally came through him. They sent each other a small, cautious smile that developed into a big, confident one, took a hold of each other and hugged so hard it was a bit painful but neither wanted it any other way.

"I'm sorry."

"I know, James. I know."

"I love you, man."

"You're an idiot but I love you too, brother. More than anyone else."


	2. Second Secret

Sirius and Remus was walking alone in the halls late morning the next day. Sirius was feeling much lighter now that he and James was on steadier grounds. Sure James still needed a bit time before they could go completely back to how they were, but Sirius was positive they would, and now that James changed his behaviour so did Peter. The Marauders were almost completely healed but it still bothered him that Remus still hadn't reacted to any of it other than smile at James and Sirius when he walked in on them hugging.

"So me and James made up yesterday. He was just being stupid but we are okay now." Sirius searched for a reaction on Remus' face.

"Yeah, I know Sirius, I saw you squeezing each other half to death, but I'm glad that you made up. I just don't get why you had to since there's nothing really to accept or whatever he have to do." Remus looked a bit annoyed when he said the last part and when he looked back at Sirius his stare turned confused because of Sirius' intense stare.

"Thanks Remus, but you really don't feel any different around me?"

"No I don't see why I should. I'm not going to judge you because you choose to not cut your hair so I don't see why I should do it because you chose to be gay." Remus looked even more confused when Sirius stopped walking and was on the edge to glaring at Remus.

"You can't choose to be gay."

"Sure you can." Remus tilted his head and looked way more like a bewildered child than a teenage boy should be able to. Sirius looked away from Remus and took a few deep breaths. Remus was still looking at him and saw it was a touchy subject. He looked around the hallway before turning his eyes back on Sirius.

"Want to talk in there?" Sirius looked up and saw Remus pointing at a so rarely used classroom neither would know it existed if they hadn't used so much time walking aimlessly around the castle. Sirius nodded and they headed walked through the door. Sirius sat on a teacher desk located in front of the room and Remus carefully sat on the student desk in front of him. They sat switching between looking at each other and looking away before Remus had enough.

"Care to explain me why you're mad" Remus' eyes clearly showed how ignorant he was about this which just made it worse in a way. On one hand it was hard to blame someone who honestly had no idea why he or she had been hurtful but on the other hand it showed that the person thought they were honestly right about what had been said.

"What do you mean I chose to be gay?" Remus wasn't fazed about how Sirius answered a question with another one and Sirius didn't sound as angry as he thought he would. Maybe it was good he was interrupted with going into the room before his anger became too great.

"I meant what I said. You had a choice and you chose to be in homosexual relationships." Sirius studied him once more, because kind, helpful and as-non-judging-as-they-get Remus couldn't possibly be saying such things about one of his friends, but he found nothing except the lack of disgust and anger as evidence to prove Remus' innocence.

"Didn't know you were so bigoted, Remus." Remus really did look puzzled now, "I mean, does you think straight people has chosen too?" Remus's eyebrows grew a little closer and his eyes narrowed while his eyes took a trip from the wall to his left and back to Sirius before he, to Sirius' great surprise, nodded.

"So you mean all people choose between being gay and straight" Remus nodded and looked at Sirius as if he was stupid, "Remus, why would anyone choose to be gay if given the choice? You saw how James and Peter reacted and that is probably almost as good as it could have been."

Remus still looked at Sirius as if he was stupid but a bit of sympathy had found its way into the look. "I don't know Sirius. It's illogical and makes no sense but so is a lot of what you choose." There was no arguing that so Sirius kept quiet until a thought stuck him.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait. So if anyone had to choose, you have chosen to be straight?" Remus shook his head, "so you are gay? Why didn't you say anything to me now that you know I am?" Remus shook his head again.

"I haven't chosen yet. It's surprisingly hard for me."

"Can't you just… Feel it?" Sirius gave him a weird and slightly worried look.

"It's hard. I feel the same about all the people I meet. Girls or boys."

Sirius didn't understand Remus. Sure, he knew Remus had barely seen other people besides his parents since he was a small child until he entered Hogwarts, but he should know what sex he preferred by now, but Remus would probably always be a but weird and reserved to a level that he doesn't even know his own emotions, so Sirius just looked fondly at him.

"Oh Remus you just haven't met a person you like that way yet. You're late but you'll get there" Or at least Sirius hoped so for Remus' sake. It would be dreadfully lonely to never fall in love with anyone but he wouldn't be surprised if Remus never did. Either by choice or just having no sexual preference at all.

Remus shook his head and blushed "No, have met some people I like that way." Remus' eyes opened wide before he started to withdraw into himself as he had an annoying habit of during when things got serious. At least it told Sirius that Remus meant what he said.

"You have met girls you want to kiss?" Remus reluctantly nodded, "And you have met boys you want to kiss?" Remus stared at Sirius for so long that Sirius didn't think he would answer but then he gave a small, uncertain nod.

"Is it 50/50 for you?" Sirius regretted that he voiced that question even before he saw the look in Remus' eyes.

"Yeah, something like that."

Sirius didn't know what to say and looked away from Remus. Maybe it was the norm. He himself had kissed girls but didn't want to and he hadn't kissed boys even though he did want to, and here was Remus with falling into the first category, or at least Sirius thought so. He knew Remus had had a girlfriend and probably had kissed her, but Remus had probably not kissed anyone else. Sirius couldn't really know but he didn't think that Remus was the type to sneak off and kiss anyone without his friends knowing at least after it happened. Sirius wouldn't voice any of that though since he never imagined Remus was interested in boys at all and here he was admitting to it. Remus suddenly interrupted Sirius' thoughts.

"So people really don't choose?" Sirius looked over at Remus and saw his big green eyes begging him. Sirius had a hunch what he was begging for but he couldn't be 100 percent sure.

"No, sadly you don't." Sirius sent him a small, purposely lopsided smile.

"You just like either boys or girls?"

"At least that's how it is for me."

"Oh" Remus looked down at his hands, "And here I was sure I was normal on that aspect."

Sirius wanted to say something comforting but didn't know what. Where was James with his, at times, surprisingly comforting words for a boy their age or Peter with his more timid comforting that more often than not at least a bit helpful?

"Am I weird, Sirius?"

"Yeah, you are" Remus tried to hide his hurt look but was doing a shitty job, "but not because you aren't straight. You are weird because all Marauders are" Remus smiled softly but truly at Sirius. Sirius smiled back but more wicked "Hey, half of us Marauders has admitted to like boys and if we can get Peter to admit the same, James will be the weird one!"


End file.
